The Secret Goal Of Every Negotiation

by drjim on November 22, 2013

Once you know this secret, you'll be a better negotiator

Once you know this secret, you’ll be a better negotiator
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Have you ever suspected that there was some secret negotiation styles or negotiating techniques to negotiating that the really good negotiators knew that you didn’t? Well, I’m not going to guarantee that they knew the one secret that you have to know if you want to be a success at negotiating; however, I am willing to share it with you and thereby make you a much better negotiator…

The Secret To Negotiating Success

What is this secret that you must know in order to be a successful negotiator you ask? Why it’s very simple: in order for any negotiation to be successful, both sides of the table have to leave with a feeling of satisfaction. Yep, it’s really that easy. Or is it?

All too often when I’m talking with other negotiators, most often guys, they’ll tell me that when they enter into a negotiation their goal is to “win”. The sad fact that I always end up sharing with them is that they are missing the point if they think that that goal is going to result in a good deal. For you see, whatever deal that you are finally able to reach with the other side needs to be one that both of you can live with. If you have “won”, then the other side has “lost” and they’re not going to be happy about the final deal.

One of the other key reasons that satisfaction is such a critical part of every negotiation is because this negotiation is not the end of the road. Something that can be all too easy for a negotiator to overlook is the fact that you’ll probably be negotiating with the other side of the table again in the future. If you don’t provide them with satisfaction this time, then they’ll remember that the next time that you sit down with them and things will go badly for you.

How To Achieve Success In A Negotiation

If we can all agree that the secret to long-term negotiating success is to find ways to provide both sides of the table with satisfaction, then we can move on to the next question. Just exactly how are you expected to find ways to create this satisfaction thing?

You might think that in order to achieve satisfaction in a negotiation, one or the other sides would like to show up, win, and send the other side home a loser. However, it turns out that even if that happened, you wouldn’t be happy because you’d always have that nagging feeling that perhaps you could have gotten more.

The key here is to understand that every negotiation is a compromise. There is give-and-take that goes on until both sides feel that they’ve gotten what they came for. If you can do this, and do it well, then you’ll develop a reputation for being a fair negotiator. People will come to understand that when they negotiate with you they’ll walk away feeling satisfied and so they’ll be willing to spend the time negotiating with you.

What All Of This Means For You

In order to be successful in the game of negotiating, you need to know what the secret to long-term success is. If you show up at a principled negotiation hoping to crush the other side of the table, then you’ll quickly learn that any deals you do reach are not as good as the deals that you could have reached.

Instead, you need to learn how to create a sense of satisfaction on the parts of both sides. This is not an easy thing to do. You’ll need to take the time to engage in back-and-forth discussions that allow both sides to give things up in order to get what they really want.

If you are willing to step away from the “winner takes all” mentality of negotiating and instead adopt a strategy of looking for ways to create satisfaction, then your reputation will grow. This kind of satisfaction based reputation is what is going to end up making you the negotiator that everyone wants to do a deal with.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Question For You: What do you think you should do if you can’t find a way to satisfy the other side?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Being able to reach a deal with the other side of the table in a negotiation requires that both sides be willing to trust each other. However, as with so many other things in life, trust is something that does not just happen. As a negotiator you are going to have to work to get the other side to trust you. The good news is that I can show you how to go about making this happen…

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