In a negotiation we want the other side of the table to make concessions to us so that we can get what we need out of the negotiations. However, in all honesty, no matter what negotiation styles or negotiating techniques we use, they probably are really not all that motivated to give us the concessions that we want. What this means for us is that we’re going to have to find a way to get them to want to give us what we both want and need. Hmm, how can we make this happen?
One Good Turn Deserves Another
When we want the other side of the table to make a concession to us, there are a lot of different ways to go about making this happen. One that comes to mind right away is to force them to give in to us. In some cases we might be able to do this; however, the rest of the negotiation just got a lot harder because now they are going to be resenting us.
A much better way to get what we want out of a negotiation is to make the other side want to make a concession to us. One of the best ways to go about making this happen is to use the “one good turn deserves another” technique. Note that this is very different from the concept of a “freebie” – in this case you are not giving something away. Rather, you are doing something for the other side and you expect them to then do something for you.
The key to making this technique work for you is that you need to know what issues that are being negotiated are important to you and which ones are not. You are going to want to give in to the other side on a number of the unimportant issues and then ask them to give in to you on one of the important issues.
How To Be A Good Negotiator
You’ll never be able to get your way on every issue in a negotiation. A good negotiator knows that he or she is going to have to exchange some minor losses for some major wins.
Using this technique where you give in on minor issues to get them to give in on major issues is how you get the other side to be willing to make the concessions that you want them to make. What a good negotiator realizes is that not all issues are equal – the exchange of concessions does not have to include items of equal value.
An example of this would be if you gave in on five different items and then asked the other side to give in on one. Those five items may have had very little value to you, but the one that you want them to give in to you on might be a very big deal to you. Make sure that you keep the value that you place on the different items that are being negotiated hidden from the other side.
What All Of This Means For You
Getting the other side of the table to give us what we want is what negotiations are all about. It’s how to make this happen that is the hard thing to do.
The key to getting the concessions from the other side that you want is to make concessions to them. Give in on the little issues that you really don’t care about, let these mount up and then ask them to give in on something that you really do care about. Don’t be afraid to make concessions to the other side. This is all part of the process and you’ll need to give in order to get.
Skilled negotiators realize that a principled negotiation is all about both giving and getting. Taking the time to give into the other side will allow you to get them to give in to you one the issues that, in the end, really matter to you. Learn how to do this and you’ll be the negotiator who always gets what you want from a negotiation.
– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™
Question For You: How many issues do you think that you need to give in on before you can ask the other side to give in to you?
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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time
Let’s face it – with all of the different negotiation styles and negotiating techniques that we use, negotiations can become very complex if we are not careful. As a negotiator you should always be looking for ways to simplify the negotiating process. However, at the same time you need to make sure that you’ll be getting the best deal possible. Exactly how to balance these two goals is what the following four tips are designed to help you do…