Do You Have The Personality Needed For Negotiation?

by drjim on November 1, 2013

You need to be able to connect with the other side of the table during a negotiation

You need to be able to connect with the other side of the table during a negotiation
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Quick: define what you think the perfect negotiation would be. What came into your mind? Did you see yourself showing up at the bargaining table, laying out your demands, getting agreement from the other side of the table, and then going home? Bad news if that is your dream because it’s never going to happen that way.

What Should Your Goal For Your Next Negotiation Be?

If you were ever to show up for a negotiation, state your demands, and have the other side of the table agree with you – watch out! What this means is that you could have gotten a better deal! A good negotiation always takes time.

If you want to be successful in your next negotiation, then you need to enter the negotiations with goals. Among these goals you need to include the desire to be able to reach out to the other side and sympathize with their situation. They have pressures and demands are being placed on them and you need to be able to understand their situation.

Additionally, you need to be able to create a real interest in them in reaching a deal with you. Any negotiation where only one side is seeking to reach a deal will never be successful. Instead, what needs to happen is that both sides need to have the goal of creating a real interest in each other and allow this interest to flow back and forth during the negotiations.

What Kind Of Personality Do You Need In Order To Negotiate?

In the end, this all comes down to the type of personality that you are willing to bring to your next negotiation. A great deal of the personality that you’ll be able to bring to the table has to do with how the other side sees you when you first show up.

What this means for you is that you are going to have to take the time to convince them about your qualifications to conduct this negotiation before the negotiations start. Your ultimate goal needs to be to convince the decision makers on the other side of the table that you are going to be able to do what you’ll promise that you can do during the negotiations.

The personality that you’ll be able to bring to the table will be greatly influenced by how the other side views you. If you’ve been able to provide them with the proof that you’ll be able to carry out what you promise them that you’ll do during the negotiations, then they’ll accept you as a person that they can do a deal with. The ability to demonstrate to the other side that you truly mean what you tell them will allow what you say during the negotiations to be believed.

What Does All Of This Mean For You?

In order to be successful in your next principled negotiation, you are going to have to have the personality that is required to connect with the other side of the table. If you think that you’re just going to show up and get the other side to agree to your demands, then you’re in for a rude surprise!

In order to be successful in a negotiation, you need to be able to convince the other side that you both care about them and that you have a real interest in them being successful. In order to do this, you need to take the time to convince the other side that you have the necessary qualifications before the negotiations even start. Let them know that you can do what you promise to do during the negotiations.

Given all of the negotiation styles and negotiating techniques that get used during a typical negotiation, it can be very easy to forget the role that your personality will play in getting you the deal that you are looking for. Take the time to connect with the other side of the table and you’ll improve your chances of reaching a deal that both sides can live with.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Question For You: What do you think is the best way to share your qualifications with the other side of the table before negotiating starts?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

In order to be a successful negotiator, you are going to have to build a reputation that makes others want to negotiate with you. One of the most important parts of this reputation is going to be just how much the other side of the table trusts you. Yes, you can use all of the negotiation styles, negotiating techniques, and dirty tricks that you want in order to get your way during a negotiation; however, this will cause others to not trust you and you’ll be harming yourself in the future. Just exactly what is this trust thing and how can you earn it?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Ian Adams November 3, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Hey Jim –

I used this same strategy about 6 months ago when negotiating the sale of a website. Not only did I get a cash payout but also negotiated some upside dependent on hitting future milestones.

Ian

Reply

drjim November 8, 2013 at 10:58 am

Ian: That is great news! I’m pleased that you’ve been able to put what you’ve read into action…!

Reply

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